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When Losing Everything Is Everything You Wanted

by Departures

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released June 13, 2011

James McKean, Daniel Nash, Andrew Traynor, Pierre Charlesworth, Ally Morrison



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FITA Records UK

Independent record label from the south east of England

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Track Name: Swallowed Up
Swallowed up by another hollow year
Sleepless nights, just wishing it away
Swallowed up by another hollow year
Too many wasted hours
Trapped inside this dying love

Walking half asleep
Through all these woken dreams
Hoping one more step
Will take me where I want to be

So far away from this autumn of our love
And so far away from all the joy that I gave up

Inside this woken dream I dig out both my eyes 
And lock away my tongue
Inside this woken dream I’d said all I could say
And destroyed our yesterdays

Sorrow swept through us
Hammered at the cracks
Until our little world
Had fallen apart

Clinging on so tightly
To our dying love
Clinging on so tightly
I brace myself for the worst

Hiding my red eyes
I place my head inside my hands
Those red eyes give everything away
Those red eyes
Give me all away
I don’t want to exist inside this dying love

This dying love has woken me to often
This hurtful love has led my heart to hide away

I don’t want to exist inside this dying love
Track Name: Sunday
Walking this concrete wishing for the rain 
Wishing for the rain without a cloud in the sky 
Walking this concrete feeling so lost 
Feeling so lost so close to your front door 

It’s when the sun catches my eye 
Strikes my heart every Sunday morning 
It’s when I think of you most 
And my heart sinks in mourning 

I’ve never been back to see you 
All alone in the ground 
Where gold etched letters 
Scream your name out loud 

“Don’t worry” said the fear in his eyes 
“Don’t worry son, I’m just waiting to die” 

I’ll walk up and down these streets 
These old familiar streets 
But the concrete 
Won’t feel like home to me
Track Name: Disappointment
This is the disappointment
And it’s all unravelling.

Passing out on these pillows we used to share
Lying to myself, helpless with myself
Thinking through dead end memories
What did you really mean to me?

Sick to my stomach
Just staring at these four walls

It’s the saddest sight
I’ve not slept enough tonight
I tried to talk myself out of this
But I’m all out of words

In this love story absent of the love
We stand so close together
Our hearts beating out of time
Clasping hands so tightly
We’re barely holding on

I have to let you know
This goodbye
Will leave a stain on my mind
And as the words linger on our lips
With this dying breath
We hang our heads

So as the train pulls away
I’ll tell myself that i’m okay without you
And as my heart begins to pull away
I’ll tell myself that it will be okay
And that I don’t miss you.
I’m not missing you.
Track Name: A Life In Pieces
Falling short of everything you ever thought you'd be
Losing hope in happy memories

Trapped in a life 
You never thought would be yours
Left to exist in denial
Weeks come and go
Wishing you could be someone else
But your dead weight is pulling you apart

Sitting outside of everything
Waiting for a life to start
But these are your salad days
And they’re quickly rotting away

Scratching out an existence
Against the backdrop of a troubled life
Losing all your momentum
To the soundtrack of fluorescent lights

Just left screaming into open silence
Of “what could have been’s”
And “I wish I’d tried harder”
Longing to be someone else
Wishing to be someone else
Track Name: Remembrance
Waking up so cold
In this bed I've laced with sweat
Dripping in all my “used to be’s”
As I start to reminisce, I start to breathe it in
That nostalgic air

I remember thinking
Those were the days
When the rain couldn’t fall
I remember the deep blue skies
And not having a fucking care in the world

But I know it’s not real
But I can’t escape this
This air has filled my lungs
And I can’t breathe out

This nostalgic air is so stale
How could I forget?
All the horror and all the regret

I’m forgetting

Those were never our beautiful days
They will always be our darkest days
We were living through our darkest days
Track Name: The View From Below
Everything’s the same
Feeling so fucking drained
Voice stretched out across the discordant tones
That fill up my life
Maybe I’m just wrapped up in self pity
Or maybe it’s the thought of all this repetition

My head is pounding and it’s only silence
Coming out of these headphones

I’ll wait forever on a tomorrow that never comes
It’s all I have

Driving but I can’t see the road anymore
I always seem to miss the turn off
My tank is running so low
It’s running scared
Because I’ve got nowhere to go

I’m wading through this life
Wading through a life I barely know as my own
Giving up instead of growing up
It’s all I’ve ever known
The cycle really has to end

I’m still waiting
For my guiding light
To reignite

All my teenage dreams
Are coming back to laugh at me
But I’m climbing out this hole
It’s taken 25 years to dig

Waiting for my guiding light to reignite
Track Name: The Last Drive
I opened the car door
And climbed inside
Trembling hands
Clutching broken pride

Stare through misted glass
As my thoughts rewind
I was counting every breath
I was counting on the end

I just wanted a way out

As I pull out the street
It’s now totally out of reach
And I keep repeating ‘I don’t care’

But this is what it’s like
When losing everything
Is everything that you wanted

I should have cut out my tongue
And filled that room with silence
That silence
Would never have brought me here

But sitting in this front seat
As the mist begins to clear
I’ve never seen the rain
Look so beautiful

So now it’s like our hands never touched
It’s like we never said goodbye
I couldn’t have given it all away
Because it was never really mine

I’ll always cherish this Friday night
Holding my pride so tight
Track Name: Midnight Lights
My world is upside down
Everything is starting to fade out
I dream of living in brighter days
And not feeling so fucking far away

My world is upside down
All I can do is wait this out
With my heart in my mouth
I guess I’ll have to wait this out

Take me out tonight
I feel like losing my fucking mind
Please take me out tonight
I don’t need to see beauty
I just need to feel alive

I thought this was over?
That’s what you used to say
I thought this was over too
I never thought you could bring this sorrow my way
Trying to figure out how we got this far
I think i’d rather just forget

Please forget me
And I’ll forget us
Can we forget the way we were?
Track Name: Over The Edge
It’s those same sad eyes
Those distant familiar red eyes
Looking through me with all their honesty

I always thought that I was by myself,
holding on alone, I didn’t need anyone’s help
But now you’ve taken my hand and all the fear is gone
You’ve taken my hand and now I’m ready to fall
Over the edge

This is us falling off the edge.