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Teenage Haze

by Departures

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Recorded in August 2012 with Neil Kennedy at The Ranch

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released November 26, 2012

Daniel Nash
James McKean
Andrew Traynor
Pierre Charlesworth
Alastair Morrison

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FITA Records UK

Independent record label from the south east of England

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Track Name: Drained Out
A disappearing smile
Across a face where love once grew
I left it all behind
For the chance at something new
I’ve seen what happens when all the love drains out
I’ve seen what’s left of a love stained in doubt

I thought I couldn’t leave everything behind
But I’ve come so far
And it’s never rung more true
That “you can’t miss what you forget”

I could always look back
And say that I had better times, easier times and everything was drenched in so much hope
But that lie only stretches out so far
The reality only stretches so far

All those forced smiles
And the torrid long goodbyes
It was all we had
And was all just dying out

I thought I couldn’t leave everything behind
But I’ve come so far
I just thought this would get harder
But it’s getting easier with every step I take

I was dragging my heels
Until my feet fell off
Just to stand in front of you
Bite my fingernails down to the knuckle
And force that smile
You’d seen too many times before

You held my hand, but it wasn’t the same
I woke up next to you, but it wasn’t the same
You held my hand, but it wasn’t the same

We kissed, but it wasn’t the same
Track Name: Making Maps
I watch the second hand
As it stumbles past that number twelve
It’s such a vicious hand
That pushes everything away from me

So young, with all the time in the world
You run and hide
Mapping out so many dreams
So many plans

When so much is new
The ticking of the clock
Is just too quiet to hear
When so much is new
Nothing seems to matter

Time etches itself across your face
The ticking just gets louder

Those maps that we made when were young
They start to fade and tear at the edges
The places we wanted to go
They start to disappear

And when the ticking stops
And we all notice the silence
It’s the sound we could all hear
But we chose to ignore it

It’s the sound we all hear
But we all choose to ignore it

And as we keep growing up
We’re just waiting for that ticking to stop
And as we start giving up
The sound keeps on getting louder
Track Name: 21
Getting to grips with losing control
There are some things that I think you should know
That all the scars that I can't help but show
Are like hands that grip tightly around my throat

And I‘m still picking apart
That winter night
We found ourselves falling out of love

Piecing together
All the words you said that I can’t quite remember
It keeps playing over and over in my head

I think you should hear this one last time
Even though you’ll never listen

I still count every step
to where you used to be
While I carry this weight
That you’ve given me

I still count every step to where you used to be
Each step I take runs through my bones
I want you to know that I’m trying
I know I don’t want to see you
But I can’t help myself

I keep trying to say goodbye
I can’t find the words
For what it’s now worth
I wish I’d never met you

I’ve tried to say goodbye
So many fucking times
But those years are always on my mind
Track Name: The Home Stretch
My fair-weather friend
I can never tell if I’m happy to see you again
Those familiar roads seem to welcome me,
They show me the way home
Is this where I need to be?

My teenage haze, spent under these dim lights
They came and went too fucking fast
The tears dry too quickly
And the laughs all die away
Am I the only one left here

I’ve seen ghosts of my youth haunt this place
Like someone walking by your window
I only barely recognise each face
Only a glance at something you thought that you once knew
Like someone walking by your window
They disappear too quickly

This can’t be a dead end town
At least not for me
It’s not something I give in to

This place will never become
Just another word for regret

So should we drink up
And say our goodbyes through gritted teeth?

My teenage haze, spent under these dim lights
They came and went too fucking fast

I’ve seen ghosts of my youth haunt this place
Like someone walking by your window
I only barely recognise each face

Will we ever get to tell our story?
Of how we made it out our old lives?
Track Name: Those Miles Meant Everything
We're both still suffocating

Waiting for something, waiting for nothing
It's what I feared the most
We're surrounded by lights,
Each one is like a fucking ghost
And each one shines out
Showing what used to be
They never stayed for too long

They fade so quickly
We used to shine so bright

So sick of new beginnings
So fucking sick of this brand new page
If we go to sleep now
We don't need to see another day

Never asked for this clean break
We never needed a brand new start,
I never needed a brand new start
Just a different heart

I used to think about where we'd meet
Could we meet outside of what we used to be
Like the summer that fades so quickly

I used to think about where we'd be
Could we meet outside of everything
The summer fades so quickly,
It loses all of its beauty

Green turns to red, then turns to gold
And the summer air, it grows so cold.
Track Name: Where The Time Will Go
There are so many promises
That we make to each other
But none that we really keep

But this is mine for you
And this one will last us
Until we’re taken off to sleep

So if you start to fall
I’ll be the hand that won’t let go
When you feel like you’re alone
I’ll be the hand you find that won’t let go

And when your heart gives up
And your lungs collapse for the last time
I’ll be there with you
Our hands entwined
As you’re taken off to sleep
To whom this may concern
I’ve started to come to terms
With how I’ve lived my life so far
And made peace with the bad decisions that I’ve made
Life disappears too quickly
To dwell on our mistakes

There are parts of my life
That I thought I wasted
But they made me who I am

If I keep on waiting for better days
They’ll just never arrive

I thought I that knew
I thought that I understood
But the wheels keep turning over
And the lights keep on rushing by
Nothing’s standing still for anyone

When you feel so much loss
That your heart almost gives up
When you feel so much loss
Everything comes into focus

When you know that nothing lasts

Death has taught me
That all the colours will all bleed out
Death has taught me
That each light will fade away
Track Name: Planting Weeds
There are no more chances left for us
The sound of tired conversations
Coming from rooms where we never go
Fill the air around us
And we never knew any names
We never fitted in
Were we ready to just to fade out?

Why do we pour hearts out into nothing?
We let everyone see who we really are
And give up everything of ourselves when we get nothing back
And the cycle just keeps going
Are we ready to just fade out

Why do attach ourselves,
To the one thing that makes us sick?

We plant ourselves in the autumn soil
As if we’re waiting on that first frost
That will take our fight away
That will take our lives away

We plant weeds in the frozen soil
Just to prove that something has grown
Track Name: Small Steps
Walking down a path that I’ve known so well
Where the heat of the sun is hidden by the trees
The noise of the distant cars,
Sounds like the hollow sound of that lonely sea

And I pretend your hand is in mine
I pretend our steps are together
I pretend everything is fine
I pretend that we are lost in each other

For a moment I catch your stare
And that moment lasts forever
I pretend everything is fine
I pretend that we're lost in each other

If I knew a way back I wouldn’t take it
This path is all I’ve known
This path is all I've been left with

My feet take me to the end
Out from under the trees
The sun splits my eyes
And I don’t have to pretend